The Durian Apocalypse

All right, so, the deal with travel in Thailand is that while the buses are more convenient, faster, and much more comfortable; the train is insanely cheap (at least when traveling third-class).

For some reason, however, the train fare to Kanchanaburi is the same as the bus. So, I thought to bring the bus here. One could either catch a minivan from Victory Monument – which is very easy to get to, but whose drivers are notorious for their lead-footedness. In fact, there’ve been so many accidents on these routes that the government is trying to crack down.

But not wanting to take my chances, it meant trying to get one’s ass over to the Southern Bus Terminal. By utilising a very helpful city map hung on a wall at De Talak, it looked as though I’d found a way to get there with only one transfer. But wondering if there weren’t a better way, I began to snoop around, and discovered this incredibly useful page, which listed the #507 from Khlong Toei to Sai Tai Mai (as the terminal is named) without transfer!

Could it be? Than, a De Talak staff-person, was highly skeptical. But she phoned the Transit Authority, and the latter confirmed its validity.

So Thursday morning, after a longer wait than expected (I think one – or possibly even two – coaches had gone MIA), I hopped the #507. Owing to rush-hour traffic, it was a long enough ride. But that was okay. Only a fifteen minute wait for the Kanchanaburi-bound bus, and only a few hours from Sai Tai Mai to here.

Ended up walking to the guest house from the bus terminal. Normally like to do that anyhow; but wasn’t exactly sure where it was, so considered getting a tuk-tuk. Was able to haggle a rickshaw driver from 60 Baht all the way down to 20 (tip for dealing with tuk-tuk drivers: pick up your bags and begin walking; that’ll get them off their number right quick); but I’d told him 10, and would accept nothing more.

Was able to keep fairly well shaded during the walk; and found the guest house just fine. But by the time I’d made that walk, checked in, then went out and got some food, it was already fairly late. Even arising quite early, and making a rather short trip, inter-city travel can be an all-day affair.

Picked up my first lychees of the season! I’d seen some in Siem Reap and also Bangkok; but they never looked good. These ones looked decent; and turned out to be just that: decent, not mind-blowing. When I was walking back with them, though, a street-vendor busy prepping food for dinner flagged me down as I passed, and asked if she could have some.

“One? Two? Three?” I indicated for her to take as many as she pleased; and she was most appreciative indeed. So there you have it: Thai/American friendship via lychee.

Quite nice little guest house, with a very cool/loud-mouthed proprietress. Here’s the view from the patio just outside my room.

Ought, perhaps, to explain just what in the Hell I’m doing here. Well, what it is, its being one  of my ten favourite movies of all times (maybe even edging near to the top five), I’d wanted since learning that Kanchanaburi is the site of the infamous Bridge Over The River Kwai, to make visit. Finally now have got around to doing just that.

Here we have Sunset Over The River Kwai. Almost rivals Luang Prabang’s Mekong sunsets, don’t it?

It occurred to me that I’d not actually watched the movie in some years; so on Thursday night I downloaded it and gave it a watch. And…I’m sorry to report that it’s no longer in my top ten favourites of all times.

I still think it’s a great movie; and certainly its central message that war is madness and that military officers on all sides are jack-assed crazy persons still resonates with me quite strongly; but it now seems to me to be a little over-the-top for my taste, especially with regard to the viewers’ proxy, Clipton.

Well, that’s the way it goes.

Yesterday, Friday, I went to visit some museums related to the Bridge and the Death Railway. (There’s also a cemetery dedicated to Allied war dead – 7,000 POWs who perished building the Railway are lain here in Kanchanaburi.)

But on the way to the first museum, I ran smack into this wild procession.

Don’t know about you, but for me, any town in which the locals are dancing their asses off at 9:00 in the AM is a town I like!

Soon, yet another procession showed up to join the first.

Now twined, they marched together on into the temple.

As per usual, the camera’s mic just can’t capture the sounds very well. So – again, as per usual – one’ll needs must trust me when I say that the bands laid a big-time whipping on the llama’s ass. So fucking great, they were!

This fine young gentleman offered me a brew. I did decline his kind offer; many, I can assure you, did not decline.

What was it all about? My best guess is that the Men In White were on this day being ordained into the monkhood. But, it’s only a guess.

So,  still on the way to the first museum, visited a whole other temple, totally unrelated to the party temple. Pretty cool; has this big huge “horseboat” thing out the front.

There’s a small structure with a Buddha’s Footprint inside.

The main chapel has a wonderful ceiling…

…including this stone-cold killer Naga composition.

The murals here were quite good generally; though many of them were obscured by ceiling fans.

Still walking toward the first museum, passed this oddity.

That’s the great thing about travel: you never know when you’re a-gonna walk by a wall with hundreds of shards of glass glued onto its topside.

Okay, the first museum was housed inside a replica of a POW hut. Inside was mostly pictures as well as copies of news articles — the latter mostly to do with reunions, or passings of people who’d laboured on the Railway.

Pretty small-time museum; but worth the 30 Baht admission; especially for enthusiasts of black-and-white photography.

Back up to the first temple, the party raged on. Damn, that band just knocked me a good one. A still-under-construction building on the grounds, down by the river, looks rather like some sort of spaceship.

The next museum, the Thai-Burma Railway Centre, back up in the middle of town, is much more extensive. Took a few hours to look through it all, and well worth the 120 Baht admission.

Later on, had some decent-but-not-great Durian. Kinda like the lychee had been.

This morning, Saturday, got up at 6:00 in the AM and made the hour-plus walk up to the Bridge. Even at 7:20 in the AM, there were already quite a few people aboard.

A temple across the river, not yet ready for prime-time, has still got its Buddhas all wrapped in plastic.

The view of the bridge from there, with train in mid-span.

And then I walked back across the river…and that was kind of it. Don’t know exactly what I had hoped to find with this little pilgrimage. But, basically, I didn’t find anything except a ho-hum bridge and oodles of souvenir-selling Thais.

It’s kinda like, one time I was in New Hampshire, and decided to look for J.D. Salinger’s house. I may or may not have passed and seen it. And then…so what? Doesn’t matter! The works of art may have sent your being to an incomparable place; but tourist points-of-way aren’t gonna enhance one’s appreciation of the art. Or so is my experience.

But it might be worth it anyhow. Certainly was in this case: the museum located near to the bridge turns out to be one of my favourite places in all of Thailand! Weird-assed place with a gruff-but-lovable proprietor.

There’re two buildings with five or six floors each. The bottom floors are dedicated to the Railway; mostly dioramas of emaciated POWs in hard labour, as well as blown up pages from memoirs (in many different languages).

Speaking of language, check out this particularly flowery account of the destruction of the Bridge. “Higgledy-Piggledy” for the win!

The upper floors are loaded down with ephemera. But neither rhyme nor reason, that this farang can discern, account for selection and placement. Just wonderfully weird collections of…stuff.

For examples!

Though I could find no clue as to what this sign is on about, those are words to live by there, to be sure! And amen to this as well:

Yeah, all three of the museums are careful to indicate that they’ve been curated not to specifically call out the Japanese for their sins; but to make witness to this particular horror in this particular war; noting that all sides in all wars comport similarly to what the Japanese had done here in Thailand.

Moving on, why are these shoes on display? And why is the one pair on top of the case? Fuck if I know – but I ain’t complaining!

Why is the motor-car set atop the train? Fuck if I know! (But dig the dude’s afro in the lower-right of the photo.)

Why are there dozens of casserole dishes filled up with woodchips, then housed inside many display cases (many more than are shewn here, in point of fact)? Fuck if I know!

I want this chickenbelt…

…but I daren’t lose my composure.

A collection of red t-shirts, anyone (again, many more than you see here; and, also again, no apparent rhyme nor reason whatever)?

Looking for oddly juxtaposed photo displays? Look no furhter!

Can you guess what the display introduced by this sign may look like?

C’mon, have a guess! While you’re thinking about that, have some wall trophies.

Okay, here’s the display you’ve, hopefully, guessed correctly.

I think it means: don’t take this picture-frame off the table???

Well, in addition to all of the crazy/weird/awesome shit, there are some pretty great murals as well.

I especially enjoyed the black-and-white and blue-and-yellow murals. Dig those shoes!

Also, from the upper terraces, some kick-ass views of the Bridge, and the surrounding mountains.

One sentiment with which I absolutely cannot agree, however…

Fuck patriotism, man! That’s from whence the “sinful behavior” springs in the first fucking place.

I have downloaded the movie To End All Wars, and will plan to wrap up my Bridge excursion with an evening screening. I’ve not seen this movie before now; but it’s to do with the Railway. (Update: Don’t bother with this one. Turned it off after thirty or so minutes; owing to exceeding stupidity.)

There’s lots of other interesting-looking shit to do around here – but not in the hot season. I may make a return visit when it cools down some. Actually, rainy season would be just the trick, perhaps, as it’d be great to be right at this very guest house when some huge-assed storms roll in.

Now, however,  ‘tis time for some cucumbers…to be followed by a nice pair of Durian!

Yesterday, Tuesday, rose and shone nice and early to avoid the heat…and ended up being so enthralled by the day’s Temples that I kept on keeping on right through the hottest part of the day.

Bad enough. Worse still, I couldn’t find any of the One-Baht drinking-water stations, and didn’t want to purchase a bottled water, so I was thirstier than Hell. But it was all worth it. Luckily, one of the temples’ shrines had a water dispenser inside, so I was able to tide myself over with that.

Began the day back at the Candyland temple, a visit to which, you’ll recall, had previously been cut short by too-hot pavements coupled with the no-shoes mandate.

The inside of the main Phra is pretty spartan; but there’s a great aura in there.

The exit tunnel, to the opposite side of the hall as the entrance tunnel, forces one to crawl on one’s hands and knees to attain passage. Kind of odd – but kind of fun!

It may be a land of nine trillion Buddhas; but Gold Guy may want to look over his shoulder.

That’s one and counting! There’s a Catholic Church over there; but they wouldn’t permit me go inside, so, fuck ‘em.

Hoofed it back over to the East side of the river, and walking through Pak Khlong Talad, couldn’t help being entranced by this Witches’ Brew. In point of fact, it was the aroma which first caught my attention. Not that I’d want to be construed as an advocate for meat-eating; but one can’t deny the fascinating, almost hypnotic, allure of these Thai street-concoctories.

Wat Pho houses one of the most famous Buddhas in all of Thailand. But it’s also a huge, sprawling complex with many drop-dead gorgeous buildings, stupae, and shrines.

As usual, one’ll simply have to trust me when I tell you how magnificent are these structures when viewed in person. It’s a shame that the best time of day to view them in person (viz., during the midday, as the sun sets the buildings all a-sparkle) is also the worst time to try to photograph them. It’s how the cookie crumbles, alas.

Thailand isn’t as Naga-crazy as are Laos and Cambodia; but this shrine is certainly proof that the Thais are able to bring the Naga with the best of them…when they want to, that is.

There are three or four Buddhas in mid-paint. Wanna know the god damned truth, I think they’re way cool as is; too bad they shan’t be left this way.

Some wonderful slice-of-life murals here as well.

After wandering around the grounds for a couple of hours or more taking in the treasures, I finally could put it off no longer, and headed over to the Reclining Buddha to see about all the fuss. The first glimpse, through a couple of support posts, takes one’s breath away to another place.

Here’re the long views of the front and back.

Some of the best murals in the entire complex line the walls here.

The place was lousy with tourists, of course. One part I couldn’t figure out while making my way down the front side, was what the Hell was causing that rhythmic noise sounding vaguely of a Pachinko Parlour (er, are there still such things as Pachinko Parlours?)? Rounding the feet and heading up the back side, I received my answer.

Hundreds of tourists walking down the aisle dropping coin into scores of metal bowls lining the wall on that side of the building. Never would have guessed! (Though, of course, it makes perfect sense.)

As I say, after having visited Pho, I elected not to pack it in for the day, but rather to soldier on; visiting three or four more temples in the vicinity. None of these were lousy with tourists even despite, really, they were every bit as impressive (though more modest in scale) as is big bad Pho.

But amidst all the glitz and glimmer…

…the murals once again held their own in these-here temples.

If you’re into this sort of thing, I have uploaded to the “Bangkok Temples”  Flickr set 300 pics from yesterday’s temple adventures.

There’re a few nice public parks in this area as well. In point of fact, Bangkok’s got some great parks full stop. But, save for Lumphini, they all seem to be sparsely populated. Kinda takes the wind out of one’s people-watching sails.

Last night, a Turkish/German hostel-mate name of “Ali” was eating vanilla ice cream from a rocks glass. “Hi!” exclaimed my enthused self, “Why don’t you make a root beer float?” But he knew neither from ice cream floats nor even from root beer! We didn’t have any in the fridge; and I think he thought I was just being a dumbass. But, shit, can you imagine a life without Root Beer Float?

Late into the night, Rata held forth in her inimitable manner, including which giving a fascinating account of the Thai Royal lineage. (The current King is not a direct descendant of the last pure-blood King; though there is a senate-member who is such; and speculation is that he may become the new King when the current King kicks the bucket.)

To-day, Wednesday, though, a lot of people – including the Japanese used-clothing merchants and the Finnish Chinaman — were leaving for various destinations domestic and abroad.

I had just polished off some mangoes, and headed inside to wash my hands, about to shed a tear or two at the forlornness of it all, and there at the reception desk was the Frenchman! You remember him, surely: the same one who’d expected to be in a “street fight” when we went to take pictures of Khlong Toei at night.

“Whoa! You’re back?” Yep, he was back. Had been in Chiang Mai for Songkran. I asked how the air quality had been, and he answered that it’d been quite poor shortly before the festival; but that during the festival itself, it was actually very good. So I could’ve gone there after all. But then, had I done so, I probably would not ever have been invited to join in gunnysack race nor, most certainly, tug-of-war…

He was in mid-season form right from the get-go; offering his opinion with regard to subjects as varied as the quality of Malaysian food (says that Indian food in Malaysia is actually better than it is in India – O, temptation!, when I visit in a few months’ time), smuggling liquor into Islamic countries, the best and worst countries in which to smoke pot if one is a tourist, and many more.

Soon enough, it all come a-boil as he rose up a sea of four-letter invective and splashed it down all over the hated Sarkozy (in absentia); first claiming that he (Sarkozy) will never get re-elected; then that if he (Sarkozy) does do, that he (the Frenchman) shall endeavour to expatriate to Canada.

Tonight’s me last night in Bangkok; so sad. Just when the Durian vendors are really getting to know me, too. I think they appreciate having a farang hanging ‘round their stalls, as the locals go in for under-ripe fruits, while I myself go in for the fully realised Durian perfection. Sorta helps balance the scales a little bit.

Decided to bite the bullet and go up to Vientiane to get a 60-Day Visa for $65 (including the entry fee for Laos). Had considered making a number of runs into Cambodia and Burma for fifteen-day renewal each time. But the price would end up being roughly the same; and there’d be the ever attendant worry of needing to be near a border crossing when the end of a given fifteen-day period would be drawing near.

So, I think this is the best way to go. But…I once again failed to resist the scandalously inexpensive third-class train fare, this time to Nong Khai from here; meaning, after fifteen hours on the third-class rails, my ass is going to be pleading for mercy – only to be made to suffer the same fate for the return trip a few days later. Oof.

After the sixty days, the Thai Durian season will be waning, and the Malaysian should be in full swing. So, I know what I gots to do then. Am still attempting to come to terms with the reality that, in the meanwhile, I shall have missed out on Folklife…

Anyhow, before Vientiane, it’s a little side-excursion to Kanchanaburi.

So, Bangkok. The hottest city in the World, at its hottest time of the year. Occlusion is the name of the game right now. It’s more easily accomplished here than elsewhere in the region, as it’s frequently partly cloudy in the morning and afternoon hours; and also ‘cause there are lots of tall buildings, and awnings, and whatnot.

Even when one is able to escape the deathly sunbeam, it’s still as if in a sauna. It means rivers of sweat pouring down. But, what’s one gonna say? There’s so much to see and do here in the city, that sitting around all day bemoaning the heat isn’t an option. One must carve out, I’m finding, a slice or two or three here and there with each successive visit.

First wanted to run some errands, however. Yesterday, Thursday, was a great day, as the most important of these was successfully navigated: I found a pair of Sennheisers!! Look, I’m fully aware that it’s deuce moronic to be as ecstatic as I am over this. But, moronic or no, I’m very fucking happy about this.

See, I’m rather hard on headphones. Finally, while at Hawaii The Big Island, I just decided that, basically, if I can’t properly care them, then I don’t deserve to own Sennheisers. Now, my will has been broken – though at least I’ve developed a plan by which I hope to make this the longest-lasting pair ever. I will notify you if that happens.

I failed, however, getting  my camera repaired. Found a guy who said he could do it, but wanted 1,000 Baht for the job. Too steep for me; so the camera will alas continue to serve up the flawed images.

Some other goals have been fulfilled, some not. You’d never believe how difficult it is to find unwaxed/unflavoured floss in Asia! Checked every single shoppe in Siem Reap, for example; and so far no luck in Bangkok.

Anyways, continuing the project of getting ‘round by bus rather than subway/skytrain has proved fruitful, if time consuming. I love riding the buses in this city, even if traffic is often at a complete standstill, and the buses seem rarely to end up where I’d expected them to.

I did to-day, Friday, finally make it to Wat Arun. This is one of the most famous temples in the city, but I’d not previously managed to take it in. In a word: “Wow.” In two words: “God damn.”

How to explain? It’s kind of impossible to do so in words. But I’m rather crestfallen, to be honest, at how poorly the pictures tell the thousands of words they’re alleged to be able to tell. At any rate, I suppose they may give some sort of impression.

It’s as though it’d been designed by little kids, with materials sourced from the Ben Franklin (or perhaps even the Goodwill). And the effect is so stunningly incredible that one’ll be practically holding one’s breath for the duration of the visit.

Don’t know why the Temple’s shrine near to bowled me over upon first glimpse – certainly, nothing one will see in this photo can explain it. But, it did.

Also a Chinese temple on the grounds, the inside of which is so beautiful one wants to just weep and weep. …And then weep some more upon opening up the photographs. Oh, well; here’s one that’s okay.

And then there’re the Prang rising up.

Trust me, they’re so gorgeous glimmering in the noonday sun, camera be damned! But to get in for a nice gander, it means forking over 50 Baht…and following the rules.

Really, “Do not dangle any doll,” is one of the four most important messages to impart? Weird, yet somehow fascinating. In order to come all up into the Prang, must navigate stairs from right out of the Angkor handbook.

Yikes!; but it’s worth the terror, as the view from up there is fairly enormous.

And here’s the Grand Palace. (I’ve yet to visit; someday, I shall.)

You’ve seen chickenboy aplenty; but only in Arun (that I’ve seen) will one see chickengirl.

Can one get a sense of just how tall is the Central Prang? Probably not; but I can assure you that it’s way the fuck up there.

Walking around up there is one helluva experience.

As far as the auditory side is concerned, there’re (I guess) hundreds of wind chimes hanging off the structures, and chiming away.

Arun is far the most unique temple in my experience. Is it also the best? Not quite sure I’m ready to confer that particular honour – but certainly it can be said that none is better (as in, more thrilling to visit).

I did manage to at least capture one pretty good photo (leave it to black-and-white!).

After Arun, was making my way down to Kalayanamit when, sitting Khlongside reading about the good ol’ way: the littlest novice.

Arrived to Kalayanamit, and it looked as though the main temple hall was all closed up. But then, around to the back, it was open after all. Prepare yourself, reader, to cry out, “Holy fuck!”

I had not prepared my own self for this task, though I’d been aware that this is the site of…

…Bangkok’s biggest Buddha. “Holy fuck!” is the only sensible reaction (at least of which I am  personally aware). Again, photos probably don’t tell the story. But that’s one big frickin’ Buddha.

The outdoor shrine connected to the temple has figures with this interesting peeling effect, also seen at Arun.

Meanwhile, the hall next door has a very small and skinny, almost comically so in context, Buddha; but there’re some truly righteous old murals in there.

The last temple of the day, don’t even know its name; but I’ve been calling it the “Candyland” temple.

While the exteriors look wonderful enough to eat, shrine inside one of the temples looks to be one of the more expensive to’ve got assembled.

Meanwhile, there’re some pretty unhinged murals on the columns.

Egads! Was not able to get into the main temple there, as the pavements were hotter’n fuck-all, all whil the no-shoes-in-the-temple rule was nevertheless still in effect. Will need to make a return visit in the morning or evening, methinks.

Later, some very helpful Chinamen and –women learned me an alternative method to arrive at Khlong Toei from Chinatown via bus. No more quickly than the one I’d proposed is the journey; but at about half the fare (no A/C, which is fine with me).

Tomorrow, perhaps I shall find some floss.