This Could Get Messy

Posted on September 24, 2011 by Eddie

Just purchased thirty pounds’ worth of tomatoes from the Farmers’ market; and have got ’em all lined up on a shelf under which I sleep. So if we have a earthquake, it’s gonna be bombs away!

I will notify you if that happens.

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I Hereby Devote My Life To Corn

Posted on September 7, 2011 by Eddie

And that ain’t no lie.

I’d never et corn in the raw until a fellow raw-foodist in Hawaii showed me the light. Unfortunately, there was only one good place in Hilo at which to procure the high-quality corn — and it wasn’t the Farmers’ Market.

So, had to wait, to really get the corngroove going on, until returning to the mainland. And then, it wasn’t in season. So had to wait until returning from Montana. Since when, I’ve been devouring the corn. Just frickin’ wolfing it down. I’m talking, like, twenty cobs’ worth per week, brothers and sisters!

In case you’re skeptical, know this: I’ve an Uncle who at first had been of the opinion that raw corn sounded like the nastiest item one could possibly put into one’s mouth. Totally inedible, hethunk. Well, morbid curiosity (or maybe it was fate) convinced him to try a bit of it. His reaction: “My, my, my!” And now it’s his favourite, too, god dammit!

One farmer from whom I buy it says only a few weeks left. So, get it while you can, god dammit.

corn

My, my, my!

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Just When You Thought Satire Couldn’t Get Any More Dead…

Posted on August 31, 2011 by Eddie

We Shall Never Forget 9/11: The Kids’ Book of Freedom has just been released by the Missouri-based publisher Really Big Coloring Books, which says it is “designed to be a tool that parents can use to help teach children about the facts surrounding 9/11”. Showing scenes from 9/11 for children to colour in and telling the story of the attacks and the subsequent hunt for Osama bin Laden, “the book was created with honesty, integrity, reverence, respect and does not shy away from the truth”, according to its publisher, which says that it has sold out of its first print run of 10,000 copies.

One page of the $6.99 book, which has been given a PG rating, shows Bin Laden hiding behind a hijab-wearing woman as he is shot by a Navy SEAL. “Being the elusive character that he was, and after hiding out with his terrorist buddies in Pakistan and Afghanistan, American soldiers finally locate the terrorist leader Osama bin Laden,” runs the text accompanying the picture. “Children, the truth is, these terrorist acts were done by freedom-hating radical Islamic Muslim extremists. These crazy people hate the American way of life because we are FREE and our society is FREE.”

Or maybe this is some kind of hoax? Pretty damned awesome one if it is. By the way, if you order between 48 and 288 copies (??), they’re only $2.80 per each. Am tempted!

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Walking Down The Ave. To The Cloud Cult Concert…

Posted on August 25, 2011 by Eddie

First Encounter:

Dealer #1: You need some bud?

Me: No, thanks.

Dealer #2: Cool shoes!

Me: Thanks.

Dealer #1: I wanna get me a pair of those.

Dealer #2: Me too.

Dealer #1: I’m serious!

Me: [Laughing.]

Second Encounter:

Dealer #3: You need some herb?

Me: No, thanks.

Dealer #3: Thank you; and have a nice night.

Me: [Laughing.]

Third Encounter:

Dealer #4: You need some weed?

Me: No, thanks.

Dealer #4: Man, those shoes?

Me: Yeah?

Dealer #4: They’re crazy!

Me: [Laughing.]

Conclusion:

Ave. dope dealers are much more polite than I’d remembered. And they loves the Five Fingers!

Cloud Cult were mind-blowingly good, by the way. You get a chance to see ’em live, don’t hesitate. They’re kinda like Wilco in that they seem to get a little bit better every year. A benefit of constant touring, I suppose.

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Who Says That Rock And/Or Roll Died With Wesley Willis?

Posted on August 19, 2011 by Eddie

Uh, well, I used to, for one. But to-day I saw the light, and am thrilled to report that it didn’t perish after all; but rather was reincarnated (sorry about the fucking corporate logos):

Need more proof? Happy to oblige.

Long live Rock!

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