Author Archives: Eddie

In The Quad

Posted on August 19, 2011 by Eddie

Jamaican Dude [noticing my thoroughly devoured Watermelon]: What’s up, mon? Me: Oh, not much, not much. Jamaican Dude: Workin’ up the fruit, ya? Me: You’d better believe it! Jamaican Dude: Ha ha ha ha!

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Fucking Awesome Salad I Just Et

Posted on August 17, 2011 by Eddie

Fucking Awesome List of ingredients follows. Purple Okra Green Okra Purple Bell Pepper Yellow Bell Pepper Pickling Cukes Lemon Cuke Tomatillos Tomatoes Corn If you’re looking for a winner for Labor-Day Potluck, you have come to the right place. Word … Continue reading →

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You Will

Posted on August 4, 2011 by Eddie

You will download the new Jesse Sykes rekkid. You will advance the volume level to the maximum permissible for your current jurisdiction. You will pick your jaw up off o’ the motherfucking ground. The motherfucking ground, I tell you! Hint: … Continue reading →

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Farmers’ Market Follies

Posted on July 31, 2011 by Eddie

Old Lady with European Accent [noticing my bare feet]: What if there is broken glass? Me: I avoid it. Old Lady with European Accent: But you have to be aware of it. Me: I have eyes. Old Lady with European … Continue reading →

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Watermelon Update Y’all!

Posted on July 30, 2011 by Eddie

And to-day, this happened. Had purchased two watermelons: one for the backpack, and one for the workout. Performing Watermelon Workout while walking down the Ave., a girl (wearing a coat on an eighty-degrees-out day — green coat, too; she wasn’t … Continue reading →

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