{"id":8173,"date":"2014-09-25T10:26:42","date_gmt":"2014-09-25T03:26:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/?p=8173"},"modified":"2014-09-25T10:51:46","modified_gmt":"2014-09-25T03:51:46","slug":"si-senor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/2014\/09\/25\/si-senor\/","title":{"rendered":"Si Senor"},"content":{"rendered":"

Maybe the signal reality of the tropics is that all of the senses are more less always engaged. Not always in a good<\/em> way, of course \u2013 but when you\u2019re here, you sure do know that you\u2019re alive.<\/p>\n

One moment, say, the sun would be blistering your dimpled ass with such unrelenting fury that it would be all you could do to cower in fear, praying for a swift demise \u2013 while ten minutes later, the clouds would have rolled in\u2026<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-21<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2026and it would be raining so fugging hard you\u2019d swear the entirety of the Asian landmass were about to up and float away. Not much after, you\u2019d be witnessing a sunset of just about unparallelable beauty.<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-21<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

Or, one minute you\u2019re walking past a garbage heap as high as the Empire State and with a stench so foul it could be bottled and sold as perfume to Lucifer hisself \u2013 but just a few jots later, you\u2019re astride an impossibly gorgeous landscape instead\u2026<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-21<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-09-21<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2026and as a sawngthaew rattles past, a wild-haired, gap-toothed passenger with a smile as wide as the Golden Gate leans out the window and screams, \u201cWhad you name<\/em>??\u201d (Just what in god\u2019s holy word a sawngthaew \u2013 the only vehicle encountered for a good half-hour\u2019s time \u2013 should be doing patrolling such an off-the-beaten, backwoods, road as this still needs working out\u2026)<\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

The endless onslaught of yet another<\/em> Thai festival\u2019s offerings of deep-fried eats, plastic doo-dads, and patio furniture is redeemed by the lovely, mild-mannered monotone lilting out of a raised-up bullhorn. Apparently reading off the news \u2013 to judge by a reference to Koh Tao, site of the recent murders of two British tourists \u2013 the occasional chuckle or guffaw are the only indication of the narrator\u2019s investment in the day\u2019s events. Though it\u2019s being completely ignored by the festival throngs, you latch onto his voice like a beacon in the night, wishing the moment could last forever.<\/p>\n

A scant hundred or so yards away from the cacaphony, one encounters a serene splendor.<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-21<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

The only farang in town, you stride barefoot up the boulevard munching a crown of Broccoli \u2013 and not five minutes after find yourself\u00a0 striding right back down<\/em> the very same boulevard, nursing a pair of Coconuts and wondering whether the locals think you\u2019ve just dropped in from Planet Moon \u2013 or else from some place even further afield. (But also not caring: the Coconuts here in the south of Thailand are so delicious, and so inexpensively priced, that I am now become a two-fisted drinker of their magnificent abundance, and have found myself wondering whether it\u2019s possible to survive on Coconut-water alone.)<\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

One second, a group of temple dogs refuses to shut up its annoying-as barking no matter how colourful and\/or profane your threats to do their dirty asses in \u2013 the next, about eleventy billion birds have, in rousing fashion, taken up their evening chorus.<\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

You\u2019re drawn to visit an otherwise deserted temple by the enchanting musical selection overloading its loudspeakers, through which it can be heard all the way out the road. The Buddha is nothin\u2019 special, but a black cat sits in front of said Buddha, cleaning itself. Taking in the scene, you find yourself madly in love with Thailand all over again.<\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=idc4OBWFoS0<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n

The music is the key element \u2013 as is the case with a morning ceremony in the middle of a temple grounds so arborous it feels like already the middle of the jungle, even though only two minutes\u2019 walk from the highway. Outside the hall, a lady skillfully readies Coconuts for the drinking while her broadly smiling mother motions for you to enter and join in the ceremony.<\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=8O-Wd3_rcnA<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

A delightfully inscrutable sign stops you dead in your tracks. Who even needs <\/em>to learn what it means?<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-19<\/a><\/p>\n

Also (and don\u2019t you just hate<\/em> it when that happens?):<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-19<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

Just a few snippets from life in Nakhon Si Thammarat, the administrative centre of southern Thailand during the reigns of the kingdoms of yore. They call it the Land Of Smiles, and nowhere is it more true than here \u2013 the locals\u2019 smiles seeming even more genuine, and more readily forthcoming, than anywhere else. Moreover, every single schoolchild will and must call \u201cHello!\u201d to you when passing (or, presumably, perish on the spot). There really isn\u2019t so much to do here \u2013 yet, somehow, I\u2019m not even close to wanting to leave. Thailand, you done it to me again.<\/p>\n

I may not be the most reliable of narrators, however. Consider, for example, that the mere sight of some kids using a mop-handle and a burlap sack to zamboni the local five-a-side soccer pitch just about makes me want to swoon.<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-23<\/a><\/p>\n

The big draw here is the 1,200-year-old Chedi located on the grounds of Wat Phra Maha That Woramaha Wihan (try saying that<\/em> nine hundred times fast).<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-19<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-09-22<\/a><\/p>\n

The Thai tourists arrive by the scores, reverently circumambulating its massive girth, making some banal offerings, and then leaving off. I guarantee you that they\u2019re idiots, however, as they \u2013 to the very last of\u00a0 them \u2013 leave the attached museum completely un-visited. They oughta be made to know what they\u2019re missing, because this museum (not to be confused with the nearby instantiation of the National Museum, which is l-a-m-e lame<\/em>) houses the finest repository of Buddhist imagery I\u2019ve ever seen. So great, in fact, that I can\u2019t even really think of one that I could\u00a0 consider to be a distant second.<\/p>\n

As I made to enter, the attendant barked out, \u201cYou!\u201d I turned around, thinking she was going to charge me admission, even despite the sign promising, \u201cFree To Enter Museum\u201d. \u201cNo photo!\u201d she perfunctorily chopped instead.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay!\u201d I merrily replied, relieved at not having to pony up. A few minutes later, surveying the hundreds upon hundreds of Buddha images \u2013 ranging in height from a few inches up to twenty-five feet or so, most of them at least a few hundred years old and carved out of bronze, limestone, or wood \u2013 haphazardly arrayed in front of me, it was all I could do to resist offering 1,000 Baht if only they\u2019d let me take pictures of them all. (Reason I didn\u2019t is that I figured they\u2019d take the 1,000 Baht for a donation, and bust me all the same once I began shuttering out some snaps.)<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not the quantity that so bestirs the imagination of the pitiful farang (okay, partly it is), but rather the quality. I\u2019ve during my travels seen any number of cheesy or otherwise \u201coff\u201d Buddhae \u2013 and the south of Thailand may even be the most egregious offender. But as the museum demonstrates, \u2018twas not always the case. It\u2019s the facial expressions. Something about their facial expressions and compositions just explodes my emotions. (And in case you don\u2019t think it\u2019s possible to create something so moving inside the space of a two-inch figurine, please make sure to come and see for your own self \u2013 you shall not<\/em> regret!) I\u2019m not gonna say that the images here are as masterfully realised as back at ol\u2019 Angkor Wat\u2026but I am<\/em> gonna say that it\u2019s very, very close. Damn and blast! why No-Photo here<\/em> of all places?<\/p>\n

Ha!, there\u2019s even one that\u2019s the spitting image of Lou Reed. I shit you not \u2013 if you wanna come have a gander, just let me know, and we can arrange a date\/time for me to point it out to you. It\u2019s really quite uncanny.<\/p>\n

Not Hell nor high water, know, was going to prevent me sneaking a shot of this Coconut grater (this was in a different, less-ardently attended, wing to the Buddhas). In the event there are one or two of you who\u2019ve never to-date been privileged to see a Coconut grater jacking itself off, well\u2026that\u2019s what you\u2019ve got me for, n\u2019est pas? Daresay, some things are just too important to be left to chance.<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-23<\/a><\/p>\n

Did as well grab this shot of a teapot made from a Ostrich egg \u2013 but was too chicken to try for anything else — they even had goddam surveillance cameras going on in there.<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-23<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

There\u2019s also a Shadow Puppet museum in town, courtesy of southern Thailand\u2019s greatest practitioner of the art. There are some very cool old puppets in there, though the museum is rather small.<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-20<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-09-20<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

As for the aforementioned festival, I originally thought it was some version of Halloween or Day Of The Dead (or what), \u2018cause there are all these silly ghouls and demon masks all over the place (dig the bored-off-his-ass monk in this-here clip).<\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=gYNuhw6432Y<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n

\"2014-09-18<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-09-23<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-09-22<\/a><\/p>\n

But then, all of the floats<\/em> are paying homage to the Chedi, and all of the shoppes are selling large, shrink-wrapped cakes in the image of the Chedi. So maybe it\u2019s an annual Chedi Fest, or similar to. Pretty big deal, at any rate \u2013 spread over at least four sites: two municipal parks, Wat Whatchamacallit, and another Wat right across the street from.<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-22<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-09-22<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-09-22<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-09-23<\/a><\/p>\n

Man I just wished I coulda been here in February when Wat Phra Maha That Woramaha Wihan hosted the Internation Makha Puja Hae Pha Khuen That Festival. Stir that god damn rice porridge all the way over the brim, I would have done!<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-22<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u2022<\/p>\n

Above words were written up on the evening of Monday the 22nd. Very limited Internet connectivity in Nakhon Si prevented me from uploading \u2018til now, freshly arrived in Bangkok via another horrible-yet-wonderful overnight third-class Thai rail journey. Here\u2019s a stray shot back in Hat Yai, from which I could hardly ever avert me eyes\u2019 gaze.<\/p>\n

\"2014-09-17<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Maybe the signal reality of the tropics is that all of the senses are more less always engaged. Not always in a good way, of course \u2013 but when you\u2019re here, you sure do know that you\u2019re alive. One moment, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8173","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8173","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8173"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8173\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8173"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8173"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8173"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}