{"id":6386,"date":"2014-05-20T13:57:10","date_gmt":"2014-05-20T06:57:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/?p=6386"},"modified":"2014-05-20T18:42:58","modified_gmt":"2014-05-20T11:42:58","slug":"tastebudsplosion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/2014\/05\/20\/tastebudsplosion\/","title":{"rendered":"Tastebudsplosion!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Okay, the Mangoes up here are just un-fucking-fathomably delicious. Oh, lemme rephrase that. They\u2019re just UN-FUCKING-FATHOMABLY delicious. To try to give an idea what they\u2019re like: you know how, when you\u2019re eating a Mango, and you let the juice run off into a bowl, and then at the end you drink the juice? How it tastes like the sweetest, purest, most heaven-sent nectar? That\u2019s what the flesh<\/em> tastes like (on the smaller ones; the bigger ones aren\u2019t quite<\/em> as sweet, and have a hint of Peanut Butter to them).<\/p>\n

Un. Fucking. Fathomable.<\/p>\n

So. Fucking. Good.<\/p>\n

Bring. Fucking. More.<\/p>\n

And they\u2019re cheap<\/em>, too. What\u2019s more, the cheapest ones are the best tasting. Lookit these prices.<\/p>\n

\"mango\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Twenty Baht to the Kilo is, if my maths are correct, about twenty-eight cents per pound. Can you imagine that?<\/p>\n

I found out, though, that it is possible to overeat of them. Six seem to go down just fine. But seven or eight in a sitting — each of which I\u2019ve tried \u2013 while leaving farang wanting more and more, does touch off a little bit of indigestion.<\/p>\n

Not gonna say these Mangoes are a superior gustatory experience to the Penang Durian. But I shall<\/em> say that, in terms of taste-bonanza combined with affordability and availability, these Mangoes I\u2019ve been eating in Chiang Mai the past week wipe out everything I\u2019ve ever previously experienced. If you don\u2019t believe they could possibly be that<\/em> delicious, just get your dimpled ass over here and find out for yourself. The World is headed down the shitter<\/a> at rapid speed \u2013 you\u2019d be better off experiencing these Mangoes soon as possible.<\/p>\n

The Lychees, as mentioned previously, are kicking into high gear. Even so, and even considering the brevity of their season, they\u2019re still at the moment running a distant second in my fruit pecking-order.<\/p>\n

The Watermelons are great, if a tad on the pricey side. Locals love it when I carry one down the street \u2013 holding it aloft by the fingertips — gaily crying out \u201cTaeng-Mo!\u201d (the Thai word for Watermelon), and then laughing to beat the band. One dude even asked to take many photos of me just schlepping the Watermelon.<\/p>\n

While one can\u2019t help get carried along by their good humour, it is a bit perplexing. I mean, how the fuck else<\/em> are you supposed to carry a twelve-pound Watermelon? The vendors always go for the damnable plastic bags. But, what?, are they gonna quadruple-bag \u2018em, or something?<\/p>\n

So, Durian are currently an afterthought. Hell, I\u2019m even eating more Sapodillas than I am Durian. The latter are just not very good. Not to say they aren\u2019t plentiful<\/em>\u2026<\/p>\n

\"durian\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I did have one incredible Khan Yao, but I had to pay out the nose for that. I\u2019ll just wait for Chanthaburi \u2013 where, I\u2019ve heard tell, they\u2019re already in excellent fettle.<\/p>\n

Chiang Mai seems largely unwracked by the troubles plaguing Bangkok (where to-day, Martial Law has been declared). Maybe<\/em> I would say that the people don\u2019t seem quite<\/em> as friendly as I recall. But perhaps that’s more to do with the heat.<\/p>\n

Anyway, Chiang Mai has still got the most beautiful temples\u2026<\/p>\n

\"temple\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2026the most aromatic restaurants, markets galore bursting with fresh Produce, a crazy and varied array of street-food offerings, amazingly fun-to-observe vendors\u2026<\/p>\n

\"vendor\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"vendor2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s got a Bamboo stupa (?!).<\/p>\n

\"stupa\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s got a giant Chicken guarding a headless Buddha.<\/p>\n

\"chicken\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s got Fraud And Induction\u2026<\/p>\n

\"notice\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2026goofy business establishments\u2026<\/p>\n

\"scary\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2026and indigeno music bands who\u2019ll lose their cultural believes if you don\u2019t shower down with coin.<\/p>\n

\"band\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s got Jakfruit bigger than your dog\u2019s house.<\/p>\n

\"jakfruit\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s kind of \u2013 notwithstanding the fucking traffic \u2013 as good a travel experience as one can find. Ima head to Pai tomorrow; though I don\u2019t really want to leave here. I figure I ought<\/em> to at least see a few<\/em> new places. So, off I go. But if the Mangoes up there are found very much in arrearage, my dimpled ass will be finding its way back here right<\/em> fucking quick, brah.<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay, the Mangoes up here are just un-fucking-fathomably delicious. Oh, lemme rephrase that. They\u2019re just UN-FUCKING-FATHOMABLY delicious. To try to give an idea what they\u2019re like: you know how, when you\u2019re eating a Mango, and you let the juice run … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6386","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture","category-fruit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6386","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6386"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6386\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6386"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6386"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6386"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}