Why Didn't They Think Of This Sooner?

The Pentagon's latest brilliant idea is to paste up all 'round Tikrit parody posters of Saddam. See him now dressed up as Elvis, now as Billy Idol, now as Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Explains Lt. Colonel Steve Russell: "Most of the locals will love 'em, and they'll be laughing. But the bad guys are going to be upset, which will just make it easier for us to know who they are."

So there it is. Never mind that they're under a patently illegal military occupation, that they've no electricity, that thousands upon thousands were murdered in cold blood, that chaos still rules the streets, that the country's resources have been sold off to Bush Administration cronies, that hospitals are barely functioning, that historical artefacts covering millennia were destroyed, that uranium particles and unexploded munitions litter the country, etc., etc.: as soon as the posters go up, the "locals" will be laughing. Or if they're not laughing, they can be safely shot on sight.

With the "bad guys" thus out of the way, the "Provisional Authority" should have the country back to normal by the end of the month, one would expect.

Posted by Eddie Tews at August 18, 2003 01:43 PM