{"id":7502,"date":"2014-08-01T22:12:42","date_gmt":"2014-08-01T15:12:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/?p=7502"},"modified":"2014-08-01T22:34:02","modified_gmt":"2014-08-01T15:34:02","slug":"the-gopher-hole-and-the-damage-done","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/2014\/08\/01\/the-gopher-hole-and-the-damage-done\/","title":{"rendered":"The Gopher Hole And The Damage Done"},"content":{"rendered":"

And if you think that \u201cHot Puthu\u201d sounds more like a medical condition than it does an Indian delicacy\u2026well, shows to go you, you can\u2019t win \u2018em all.<\/p>\n

\"2014-07-30<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-07-30<\/a><\/p>\n

See, if Penang\u2019s Upper Crust had its wits about it, it\u2019d hire my dimpled ass, tout de fuckin\u2019 suite, to head up the Welcome Wagon Dept.. Nobody loves this place more than I\u00a0 do. Every day, every hour, it astounds me anew. Let\u2019s take a stroll around town, shall we, and see what we may see\u2026<\/p>\n

\"2014-07-16<\/a><\/p>\n

Hotelier: <\/strong>Every day, I put it [pens in a drawer] properly, and then they [the staff] come and throw<\/em> it like that!<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>[Laughing.]<\/p>\n

Hotelier: <\/strong>Every day <\/em>the same way!<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>[Laughing.]<\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

The streets around the Kapitan Keling were very quiet on the night of the holiday \u2013 much like Christmas morning. This, coupled with the twinkling Star Lanterns hung for the occasion\u2026<\/p>\n

\"2014-07-29<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2026and the ionic charge lingering in the atmosphere following the earlier thunderstorms \u2013 the first significant precipitation in many, many a day \u2013 made that evening\u2019s prayer call even more remarkably affecting than usual. Cannot recall whether, two years ago, I passed along a clip of the Muslim prayer calls? Even if so, it\u2019s worth showing again. If listening this doesn\u2019t simultaneously rip your heart out and\u00a0 leave you gasping for air\u2026<\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=sNMfbi23naA<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n

\u00b7<\/p>\n

Moreover, the Kapitan Keling Mosque\u2019s calls end a half-minute or so earlier than other mosques\u2019 in the general vicinity; hearing the echoes from the latter, hanging faintly in the air like a lingering mist, deepens the effect even the more. Five times a day, every day; it\u2019s like as though all the drama in Shakespeare\u2019s entire oeuvre were distilled into three minutes of pure, haunted emotion. Incroyable.<\/p>\n

As much as religion is such transparent bullshit, the undeniable artistry which religious faith evokes does make one wonder\u2026 Guess you could say it instills into the mind a kind of macabre dilemma: Given that the only two means by which to reach the pinnacle of human artistic\/creative endeavour are to get religion or to get a smack habit, which would you choose? Personally, I think I\u2019d go with the Heroin; I figure a chemical addiction would probably be easier to shake than religious indoctrination. But, I suppose there is no right answer here (except, of course, to not become an artist \u2013 but that\u2019s the easy way out).<\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

Kind of have it in the back of my mind that it would be fun to make some interviews with island residents. My first three choices for subjects would be: Durian Seng (natch), the dude who does Kapitan Keling\u2019s prayer call, and the family that runs that beautiful and compelling Pork store over on Jalan Penang. In case you\u2019ve forgotten the one I mean, here are a few whistle-wetting shots from the most terrifying place on the island\u2026Penang\u2019s true Heart Of Darkness.<\/p>\n

\"2014-07-31<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-07-31<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-07-31<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-07-31<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

But, yeah, you think you know a place; you think you\u2019ve walked by it a thousand times without seeing anything amiss. And then, one day, blammo!, it hits\u00a0 you\u2026<\/p>\n

\"2014-07-29<\/a><\/p>\n

Actually, though, this would make a great<\/em> album-cover, would it not? The \u201ctypo\u201d on the British Pound merely serves to make it more awesome. Only thing is, it\u2019s the wrong aspect ratio, so the record\u2019d need to be sold in a Longbox \u2013 hopefully there are still some blank ones laying around somewhere. Now<\/em> all we need is a band to name itself \u201cThe Spicemen\u201d and to record and release an album called Money Changer<\/em> — which is what the Chinese characters on top denote. Can\u2019t lose, because even if the record is shite, it\u2019s automatically in the great album covers of all time. (I\u2019d say top fifty on merits \u2013 but then the Longbox gimmick pegs it up into the top twenty-five, easy.)<\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

Finally visited this one big-deal Thai temple \u2013 it\u2019s got the third-biggest Reclining Buddha in all of Asia \u2013 a ways outside of town. It\u2019s a major tourist draw, but somehow I had never been. It\u2019s kind of too far to walk when it\u2019s as hot as it\u2019s been, but also too near to take the bus without feeling like a schmuck for not having walked.<\/p>\n

Anyhow, the Buddha was very stupid. Yeah, it\u2019s big<\/em>\u2026<\/p>\n

\"2014-07-18<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2026but I hate those Buddhas that look like they were drawn by some Saturday Morning cartoon-ist.<\/p>\n

\"2014-07-18<\/a><\/p>\n

Oh, well. Some of the artwork around the temple was cool, though.<\/p>\n

\"2014-07-18<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-07-18<\/a><\/p>\n

But best of all was the signage, including these two Hellerian (is that a word?) notices placed right next to each other:<\/p>\n

\"2014-07-18<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-07-18<\/a><\/p>\n

And the Notice and Invitation are worth a chortle or three \u2013 maybe even four or five.<\/p>\n

\"2014-07-18<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-07-18<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

Aaaand the GTF is off and running. Gonna try to make it to all of the exhibitions and installations, but there\u2019s a lot packed in to its monthlong schedule. Here\u2019s the first, over at Fort Cornwallis, of all places.<\/p>\n

\"2014-08-01<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-08-01<\/a><\/p>\n

Yep, that\u2019s the whole thing. Hey, nobody said they were gonna all<\/em> be world-beaters. The second \u2013 featuring among its pieces the work of a couple of Chinese Exchange students — was more substantial, making use of painting, photography, muralism, and 3-D action.<\/p>\n

\"2014-08-01<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-08-01<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-08-01<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-08-01<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-08-01<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-08-01<\/a><\/p>\n

\"2014-08-01<\/a><\/p>\n

Gonna be a good month, even if it\u2019s rather gnawing to be unable to afford to attend more than one or two of the ticketed events.<\/p>\n

\u2022<\/p>\n

Here\u2019re a few more clips from the Hungry Ghost performances. This dude\u2019s one-legged walk is fucking impressive<\/em>. Guess I was wrong about the performances lasting all month, however. Though a lot of the shrines remain, all the stages have been taken back down again. How shall now be accomplished the appeasing of the ghosts? Don\u2019t know!<\/p>\n

\"2014-07-29<\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=imDFMI4Thz8<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n

\u00b7<\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=vyZBdQKXJvU<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n

\u00b7<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And if you think that \u201cHot Puthu\u201d sounds more like a medical condition than it does an Indian delicacy\u2026well, shows to go you, you can\u2019t win \u2018em all. See, if Penang\u2019s Upper Crust had its wits about it, it\u2019d hire … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7502","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7502","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7502"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7502\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7502"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7502"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7502"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}