{"id":6641,"date":"2014-06-03T04:50:27","date_gmt":"2014-06-02T21:50:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/?p=6641"},"modified":"2014-06-06T08:31:36","modified_gmt":"2014-06-06T01:31:36","slug":"the-king-of-ducks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/2014\/06\/03\/the-king-of-ducks\/","title":{"rendered":"The King Of Ducks"},"content":{"rendered":"<p align=\"justify\">Many is the time all y\u2019alls have heard me opine \u2013 and right in this very blog-space, too! \u2013 that Thailand is the weirdest place god made. No, I understand: on these occasions you ever and always did muse to your own selves, \u201cWell, he\u2019s employing hyperbole there, natch.\u201d And so.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Here, if you need it, is the proof in the proverbial pudding, sure. Thailand <em>is<\/em> the weirdest place god made \u2013 full stop. (Keep an eagle-eye out for the guy in the black and red shirt, at the :49 mark, with the shit-eating grin on his face: he <em>knows<\/em> it\u2019s the absurdest, but he daren\u2019t say as much.)<\/p>\n<div style=\"width: 640px;\" class=\"wp-video\"><video class=\"wp-video-shortcode\" id=\"video-6641-1\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" preload=\"metadata\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"video\/youtube\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=rOnqbkyd_ts&#038;_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=rOnqbkyd_ts\">https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=rOnqbkyd_ts<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n<p align=\"center\">\u00b7<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">That\u2019s from the Opening Ceremony of the 2014 Chanthaburi World Durian Festival. Frankly, I\u2019d appreciate it if somebody would send this footage to the god damned Pulitzer committee.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\" align=\"justify\">\u00a0\u2022<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Have been here in Chanthaburi for only three nights, but it feels like a year\u2019s worth of fun good experiences have already been crammed into these few days.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">The fruit-eaters descend like vultures upon Chanthaburi for the annual Durian Fest. And it\u2019s deuce deliciously wonderful to share a space piled high with the best Durian Thailand has to offer among those farang who appreciate it the most. But this year, a handful of cooked-eaters of various stripe have also fallen into the orbit, adding a well-played frisson to the pot. In addition to which, among the raw-eaters is one who eats raw eggs and occasionally raw meat.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">The discussions have been lively, what I\u2019m trying to say. Scintillating, like. You drop a group of misfits and weirdos from all points of the globe into Durian Disneyland, get them all hopped on on quantities of same, shake it good and vigorously, and turn them loose. It\u2019s kind of like <em>Ghost World<\/em> does Thailand.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">The only shitty part is some great wonderful friends have already left Chanthaburi, and more are leaving in the next day or two. Well\u2026if I\u2019ve learnt anything from traveling, it\u2019s that as soon as the coolest people you know leave some place that you are, they\u2019ll immediately be replaced be another cohort every bit as cool. (You could almost call it the First Law Of Travel, is how goddam reliably common it is.)<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">So how\u2019s the fruit? As previously reported, the Mangosteens are <em>outrageously<\/em> delish, though a tad bit expensive \u2013 if having the Queen Of Fruit for fifty cent a pound, when it\u2019s eight <em>dollar<\/em> a pound back home (and crap quality at that) could be considered expensive. Longkongs are good, though I\u2019ve not been eating as many as usual. Lychees are actually coming down in price; if they get much lower, I may have to dive back into their pool, having kind of resigned myself to having eaten my last of the season just moments before leaving Chiang Mai.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">And the Durian\u2026 Don\u2019t know whether it\u2019s that I\u2019ve been lucky, or that I\u2019m actually getting pretty good at knowing what I\u2019ll like, but I\u2019m on a really great roll right now selecting primo fruits. Will spare, for the moment, the Durian Porn photography, as I feel I may\u2019ve overdone it a bit two years ago. But if current trends hold up much longer, I fear I shan\u2019t be able to resist.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">\u201cAll well and good,\u201d you may be wondering. \u201cBut what about some more reporting from the Festival?\u201d<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Agreed! Let\u2019s have some.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Here\u2019s another shot from the Opening Ceremony. Love how the photographers look bored outta their collective gourd.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-05-31-183002.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-05-31 - 183002\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-05-31-183002_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-05-31 - 183002\" width=\"644\" height=\"429\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">In addition to being the Durian capital of Thailand, Chanthaburi is also the gemstone capital of Thailand. So\u2026<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-05-31-183042.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-05-31 - 183042\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-05-31-183042_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-05-31 - 183042\" width=\"644\" height=\"429\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">On this same stage, to close out every evening (if I understand it correctly) is a different Thai Superstar musical act. On Saturday night, it was 7 Day Crazy. Kind of a ho-hum Rock band\u2026<\/p>\n<div style=\"width: 640px;\" class=\"wp-video\"><video class=\"wp-video-shortcode\" id=\"video-6641-2\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" preload=\"metadata\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"video\/youtube\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=fwPSxdd7CJk&#038;_=2\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=fwPSxdd7CJk\">https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=fwPSxdd7CJk<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n<p align=\"center\">\u00b7<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">\u2026but their fans are the greatest, dancing and singing along to every song like as though it were the frickin\u2019 Beatlemania.<\/p>\n<div style=\"width: 640px;\" class=\"wp-video\"><video class=\"wp-video-shortcode\" id=\"video-6641-3\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" preload=\"metadata\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"video\/youtube\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=H0KTXVjnqos&#038;_=3\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=H0KTXVjnqos\">https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=H0KTXVjnqos<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n<p align=\"center\">\u00b7<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Three words &#8212; Punk\u2026Fucking\u2026Rock:<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-05-31-233756.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-05-31 - 233756\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-05-31-233756_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-05-31 - 233756\" width=\"644\" height=\"429\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">The floats are quite eye-popping this year.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-140713.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-01 - 140713\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-140713_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-01 - 140713\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-140826.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-01 - 140826\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-140826_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-01 - 140826\" width=\"644\" height=\"484\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-140919.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-01 - 140919\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-140919_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-01 - 140919\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-141122.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-01 - 141122\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-141122_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-01 - 141122\" width=\"644\" height=\"484\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-141456.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-01 - 141456\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-141456_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-01 - 141456\" width=\"644\" height=\"484\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">The endless aisles and rows of vendors selling strange and unusual foods and\/or trinkets and clothings are predictably silly. No idea who the guy is on the shirt, but I <em>might<\/em> be in love with him.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-154700.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-01 - 154700\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-154700_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-01 - 154700\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Sure, it\u2019s all Lies and Propaganda and Brainwashing. But I could\u2019ve stood watching this magnificent harangue all the live-long day. I don\u2019t even <em>want<\/em> to know what she\u2019s saying. Only reason I didn\u2019t keep recording her for three or four hours\u2019 time is that, as you\u2019ll see at the end, I was kinda interrupting the flow of traffic.<\/p>\n<div style=\"width: 640px;\" class=\"wp-video\"><video class=\"wp-video-shortcode\" id=\"video-6641-4\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" preload=\"metadata\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"video\/youtube\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=X_Xvvkayu08&#038;_=4\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=X_Xvvkayu08\">https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=X_Xvvkayu08<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n<p align=\"center\">\u00b7<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Sunday night\u2019s entertainment was marred by a big Dinner Buffet happening right in front of the stage.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-203343.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-01 - 203343\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-01-203343_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-01 - 203343\" width=\"644\" height=\"429\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">But the warmup act looked a major treat. Unfortunately, only caught the very tail end of it. Good enough to share even the tiny li&#8217;l clip, I guess. The headliner was another Rock-ish band; not terribly interesting.<\/p>\n<div style=\"width: 640px;\" class=\"wp-video\"><video class=\"wp-video-shortcode\" id=\"video-6641-5\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" preload=\"metadata\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"video\/youtube\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=8S6cjA7dS3Q&#038;_=5\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=8S6cjA7dS3Q\">https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=8S6cjA7dS3Q<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\" align=\"justify\">\u2022<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">So there\u2019s a guy here called \u201cNong\u201d. He lives on a small island in the middle of the river, and his mom owns a farm a little ways outside of town. He\u2019s a bit of a fruit savant. If it\u2019s to do with fruit, and Chanthaburi, he\u2019ll know about it. And he can pound the Durian with the best of us. (How I failed to meet him two years ago, I know not.) He\u2019s a gem-ster by trade, but also a budding Tour Guide.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">So to-day, Monday, he took a group of us \u2013 myself, an American name of \u201cDamien\u201d, an Italiano name of \u201cGiacomo\u201d, a Canadian name of \u201cJohn\u201d, a Frenchman name of \u201cPhilippe\u201d, and a Swisswoman name of \u201cLena\u201d \u2013 on a trip around and about to visit a secluded waterfall\/swimming hole, his mother\u2019s farm, the Horticultural Research Centre, and a place called \u201cBuddha Land\u201d. Fucking <em>great<\/em> fun day of <em>supremely<\/em> delightful company and wondrously delicious fruit.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Owing to the unusually hot\/dry conditions, the waterfall was little more than a tricklefall. Swimmin\u2019-hole was nice and refreshing, though. Hell, the fish were even biting, too\u2026as in, biting <em>our<\/em> <em>feet. <\/em>(They&#8217;re the same fish, apparently, used in the foot-massage tanks one sees scattered around here in the well-known Southeast Asian tourist-trap towns. Basically as annoying as being licked by a dog.)<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Here, on Nong\u2019s mom\u2019s farm, is an immature Mangosteen. <em>Beautiful<\/em>, ain\u2019t it? Just love the two colours, there.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-121437.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 121437\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-121437_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 121437\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">It was kinda like Easter Sunday walking through the orchards, \u2018cause there were always fallen Mangosteens underfoot. Pick \u2018em up and eat \u2018em down, and\u2026may as well lace up the tenny-runners and quietly wait for the Spaceship to arrive, because it won\u2019t get any better than this! Sofuckinggood!<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Here\u2019s the peerless leader, eyeballing a Sapodilla tree.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-122735.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 122735\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-122735_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 122735\" width=\"644\" height=\"429\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Unfortunately, they\u2019re not yet ripe. The Longkongs are <em>booming<\/em>, however.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-123341.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 123341\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-123341_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 123341\" width=\"514\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">There was only one of them ready to eat, but the Eggfruit was scary fucking delish.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-124520.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 124520\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-124520_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 124520\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Never heard of this fruit before now \u2013 Bilimbi. It tastes very much like Rhubarb.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-124320.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 124320\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-124320_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 124320\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">The Banana leaves on the farm are enormous and gorgeous.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-124728.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 124728\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-124728_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 124728\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Nong thinks this is possibly a Thai Ginger plant. Looks like an Alien form.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-125335.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 125335\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-125335_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 125335\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Durian? Yes. Here\u2019s Nong, in front of a two-hundred-year-old tree!<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-125015.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 125015\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-125015_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 125015\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-125211.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 125211\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-125211_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 125211\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-124633.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 124633\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-124633_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 124633\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">In addition to the Chanthaburi farm, Nong\u2019s mom also has a farm in Trat &#8212; from whence came this Chempedak.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-125457.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 125457\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-125457_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 125457\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-125834.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 125834\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-125834_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 125834\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">John (a Chempedak freak) thought this one a tad overripe, but I figured it for the best thing I et all day. Here, Nong begins hauling out the Durian before the Chempedak has even been finished off yet. John, Lena, and Damien are looking on.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-125754.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 125754\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-125754_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 125754\" width=\"644\" height=\"484\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">At the Research Centre, we walked the Nature Path in and amongst the many different fruits\u2019 trees. Who knew there are eight different varieties of Rambutan? We were busy devouring many Mangosteens and fallen Durian\u2026<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-150606.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 150606\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-150606_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 150606\" width=\"644\" height=\"484\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">\u2026but then somebody yelled at us and told us to cut it out. (Gotta admit, I <em>had been<\/em> wondering whether we were supposed to have paid an entrance fee, as much fruit as we were sampling.) Here I am, in Nong\u2019s photo, juggling three Mangosteens and a Sapodilla, as Philippe looks on.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/10418143_10152469727380953_3099233907696642284_n.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"10418143_10152469727380953_3099233907696642284_n\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/10418143_10152469727380953_3099233907696642284_n_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"10418143_10152469727380953_3099233907696642284_n\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Also gotta admit, crap crap shit that the Rambutan may be, it\u2019s an open question which is the more photogenic \u2013 Durian or Rambutan?<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-151032.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 151032\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-151032_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 151032\" width=\"514\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-151252.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 151252\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-151252_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 151252\" width=\"514\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">There are a bunch of residences on the grounds, one of whose was this friendly lady\u2019s. She was hosing down the same patch of gravel for going on twenty minutes (seemed like). But, yeah: she\u2019s 104 years old. Second Rule Of Travel: You ever meet a 104-year-old lady, you let her hose down the gravel for as long the fuck as she wants to!<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-153004.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 153004\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-153004_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 153004\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-153302.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 153302\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-153302_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 153302\" width=\"644\" height=\"429\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>Last stop was Buddha Land: buncha Buddhas and friends in an outdoor\/jungle setting. Nice enough place through which to walk\u2026<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-155248.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 155248\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-155248_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 155248\" width=\"644\" height=\"429\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-155443.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 155443\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-155443_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 155443\" width=\"644\" height=\"429\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-155522.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 155522\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-155522_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 155522\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-161021.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 161021\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-161021_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 161021\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-161819.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 161819\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-161819_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 161819\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">\u2026but it\u2019s really just a very kiddie-pool facsimilie of Nong Khai\u2019s <a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/?p=2096\">almighty<\/a> Sala Kaew Ku. It\u2019s like \u2013 you know how, once you\u2019ve been Mr. Toad\u2019s Wild Ride, every other amusement-park experience feels like <em>bullshit <\/em>by way of compare? That\u2019s more less what it felt like visiting Buddha Land after having <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/14623934@N04\/sets\/72157629524792575\/\">seen<\/a> Sala Kaew Ku. Still, kiddie pools can be refreshing enough to sit during a socrching-hot day (which this day indeed was).<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">And that was that. Looking for fun, in Chanthaburi, during Durian season? Talk to Nong. He\u2019ll hook you the fuck UP.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<div align=\"justify\">My photos <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/14623934@N04\/sets\/72157644342237349\/\">here<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/eddie.tews\/media_set?set=a.444925135642887.1073741832.100003762135928&amp;type=1\">here<\/a> (same pics, two locations).<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div align=\"justify\">Nong\u2019s photos <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Yumbayohoo\/posts\/10152469729120953\">here<\/a>.<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\" align=\"justify\">\u00a0\u2022<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">As if all that weren\u2019t enough, Monday night\u2019s festival entertainment was hella goofy. But also quite good. This clip is parts of three different performances \u2013 but they all ran one after t\u2019other; so you could see that it was a pretty diverse programme. Also, the dancing motorcyclists (rejects from the Village People, one presumes) at the very end provide a nice little dollop of icing on the Thailand-as-weirdest-location-in-the-Universe cake. The way the onlookers were reacting, you&#8217;d have thought the Big Brothers back in Bangkok had declared a General Pand\u00e6monium.<\/p>\n<div style=\"width: 640px;\" class=\"wp-video\"><video class=\"wp-video-shortcode\" id=\"video-6641-6\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" preload=\"metadata\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"video\/youtube\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=S5azLqcEdbo&#038;_=6\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=S5azLqcEdbo\">https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=S5azLqcEdbo<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n<p align=\"center\">\u00b7<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">This dude. Guess he was some sort of mystic, or seer, or what have you. Well, he seems here to be setting up some kind of a magic trick. But I wandered by several times over the course of a few hours, and he <em>always<\/em> seemed to be either setting up some kind of a magic trick, or fucking around with the snakes, dragging them out of and\/or into those damned boxes he\u2019d got them all locked up in. Actually, I <em>would<\/em> like to know the gist of what the son of a bitch is on about, if anybody reading this speaks Thai\u2026<\/p>\n<div style=\"width: 640px;\" class=\"wp-video\"><video class=\"wp-video-shortcode\" id=\"video-6641-7\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" preload=\"metadata\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"video\/youtube\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=3ON1WXq_cF4&#038;_=7\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=3ON1WXq_cF4\">https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=3ON1WXq_cF4<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n<p align=\"center\">\u00b7<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Finally, I\u2019ve not considered Chanthaburi to be the most beautiful of locales (that\u2019s where Luang Prabang and Kanchanaburi and Pokhara come in\u2026). But on this night, at least, it really pretty much was. What you won\u2019t see here are the lightning bolts flashing up the darkening sky. Alas, the rains they\u2019d portent never did arrive.<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-183341.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 183341\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-183341_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 183341\" width=\"580\" height=\"772\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-183410.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-06-02 - 183410\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-06-02-183410_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-06-02 - 183410\" width=\"644\" height=\"484\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\">Phew! Days and nights in Chanthaburi filled with friends, fruit, fun, and sun. Too great! One problem, though: my dimpled ass is in need of some sleep. We\u2019ll have to table \u2018til a future date the discussion of the follies and funnies of the local Chanthaburian townsfolk\u2026<\/p>\n<p align=\"justify\"><a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-05-31-182554.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"background-image: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border: 0px;\" title=\"2014-05-31 - 182554\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/2014-05-31-182554_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"2014-05-31 - 182554\" width=\"644\" height=\"366\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Many is the time all y\u2019alls have heard me opine \u2013 and right in this very blog-space, too! \u2013 that Thailand is the weirdest place god made. No, I understand: on these occasions you ever and always did muse to &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/2014\/06\/03\/the-king-of-ducks\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,13,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture","category-durian","category-fruit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6641"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6641\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6641"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6641"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}