{"id":571,"date":"2011-08-04T18:33:26","date_gmt":"2011-08-05T04:33:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/?p=571"},"modified":"2011-08-04T18:33:26","modified_gmt":"2011-08-05T04:33:26","slug":"you-will","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/2011\/08\/04\/you-will\/","title":{"rendered":"You Will"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">You <em>will<\/em> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mediafire.com\/?s2d2sms1bu1ibl4\">download<\/a> the new Jesse Sykes rekkid.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">You <em>will <\/em>advance the volume level to the maximum permissible for your current jurisdiction.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">You <em>will <\/em>pick your jaw up off o&#8217; the motherfucking ground. The motherfucking <em>ground<\/em>, I tell you!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Hint: If the blood is not running from your eardrums, it means you failed to advance the volume level high enough (perhaps you need to seek a new jurisdiction).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Also, you <em>ought<\/em>, if you&#8217;re in or near Seattle, attend the Art Museum&#8217;s <em>Beauty And Bounty<\/em> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.seattleartmuseum.org\/exhibit\/interactives\/beautybounty\/howto.html\">exhibition<\/a> before its September 11th closing. It&#8217;s pretty amazing &#8212; especially the damned three-dimensional photos from the nineteenth century.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You will download the new Jesse Sykes rekkid. You will advance the volume level to the maximum permissible for your current jurisdiction. You will pick your jaw up off o&#8217; the motherfucking ground. The motherfucking ground, I tell you! Hint: &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/2011\/08\/04\/you-will\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=571"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}