{"id":227,"date":"2011-02-22T15:18:34","date_gmt":"2011-02-23T01:18:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/?p=227"},"modified":"2011-03-05T09:47:10","modified_gmt":"2011-03-05T19:47:10","slug":"o-satan-my-lord-and-master","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/2011\/02\/22\/o-satan-my-lord-and-master\/","title":{"rendered":"O Satan, My Lord And Master"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">We&#8217;ve received the new issue of the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.hoeggergoatsupply.com\/xcart\/home.php?cat=\">Hoegger<\/a> Goat Supply Co. catalog. Why, considering that we only keep cows here on the farm, did we receive a goat supply catalog? Don&#8217;t know!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">So, the front of the book is all about containers, and milking machines, and, like, paddock supplies (or what). Then it gets into some, let&#8217;s say, merch for the kids: goat-shaped cookie cutters, &#8220;Goats Are Great!&#8221; t-shirts, &#8220;I &#9829; My Goats&#8221; licence plates, &#8220;Goat Xing&#8221; signs, key chains, and cetera.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">So far, so good. Then, just a few pages after the frickin&#8217; cookie-cutters comes the selection of books, including (I&#8230;shit&#8230;you&#8230;not) <em>Home Sausage-Making<\/em>, <em>The Epicurean Goat<\/em>, <em>Slaughter &amp; Preservation Of Meat<\/em>, <em>Basic Butchering Of Livestock &amp; Game<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Schya! Nothin&#8217; says &#8220;I &#9829; My Goats&#8221; quite so sincerely as taking to butchering their asses up and turning them into friggin&#8217; snausage. Now here&#8217;s the kicker. Check out the catalog&#8217;s cover image:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><a rel=\"attachment wp-att-229\" href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/?attachment_id=229\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-229\" title=\"hoegger catalog\" src=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/02\/hoegger-catalog.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"617\" height=\"793\" srcset=\"https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/02\/hoegger-catalog.jpg 617w, https:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/02\/hoegger-catalog-233x300.jpg 233w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 617px) 100vw, 617px\" \/><\/a><span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">(!).<\/span> <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">(!!).<\/span> (!!!). Lookit the little girl&#8217;s eyes! She is as possessed as any kid ever has been possessed. If she&#8217;s not ten seconds <em>at most<\/em> from snapping that goat&#8217;s neck and drinking its fucking blood, then I&#8217;m a goddamned monkey&#8217;s uncle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We&#8217;ve received the new issue of the Hoegger Goat Supply Co. catalog. Why, considering that we only keep cows here on the farm, did we receive a goat supply catalog? Don&#8217;t know! So, the front of the book is all &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/2011\/02\/22\/o-satan-my-lord-and-master\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=227"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}