{"id":2008,"date":"2012-02-29T20:40:40","date_gmt":"2012-02-29T13:40:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/?p=2008"},"modified":"2012-02-29T21:25:17","modified_gmt":"2012-02-29T14:25:17","slug":"stupid-meet-idiot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/2012\/02\/29\/stupid-meet-idiot\/","title":{"rendered":"Stupid, Meet Idiot"},"content":{"rendered":"

Well, my ass most definitely did not<\/em> appreciate the ride from Vang Vieng to Vientiane. The road alternates in roughly quarter-mile sections of paved and dirt\/rock the entire four-hour trip. Bump, bump, in other words.<\/p>\n

How the road from a country’s capital city to one of its major tourist destinations can be in such a state of disrepair, I do not know. Welcome to Laos! Maybe the figure the twenty-somethings bound for<\/em> Vang Vieng will be so excited to get blotto-assed drunk, that they’ll not care. And that those returning from<\/em> Vang Vieng will be<\/em> so blotto-assed drunk that they’ll not notice.<\/p>\n

Dang, I\u2019m not envying the driver of that route, assuming he makes the round-trip five times per week. Always think during the rides how cool the bus driver or boat captain is, and that I must shake his hand after. Usually I forget to do; but this time, there was no way I could forget. That dude\u2019s a trooper \u2013 such a happy guy, too.<\/p>\n

Most every traveller one meets describes Vientiane with the same three words: \u201cVientiane is shit.\u201d One or two people say it\u2019s okay. I wouldn\u2019t call it \u201cshit\u201d, having been here for half a day. But\u2026well, the first thing one will notice is that somebody up and took the beautiful, beautiful Laotian mountains away. Boo!<\/p>\n

Because of that, and because there seem to be more motor-cars<\/em> than motor-cycles<\/em>, and because many of the street vendors sell their fruit wrapped in styrofoam and plastic, and because the air pollutant of choice is carbon-dioxide rather than smoke, and because there are evening aerobics in the park \u2013 well, it feels a lot more like Thailand than it does Laos.<\/p>\n

Which is okay: one may recall that I was reluctant to leave Thailand. But now, having been in Laos for nigh upon one month\u2019s time, it\u2019s more than a bit sad to be leaving it<\/em>.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re back on the Mekong here. But, from the river walk, one can barely see the river.<\/p>\n

\"mekong\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Although, the river walk doubles as the flood-wall; so all of that wide expanse will in a few months\u2019 time be underwater!<\/p>\n

I do quite like the hostel at which I\u2019ve landed. One of the best at which I\u2019ve stayed. Four-bed dorm for $5; and the beds are quite comfy (also more like Thailand than Laos). Unlike Luang Prabang and Vang Vieng, however, the curfew is apparently actually enforced here.<\/p>\n

\"warning\"<\/a><\/p>\n

One of my dormmates is an Aussie who\u2019s ridden his bicycle all the way from Bali to here. He had planned to ride on in to China, but has now decided to ride only up to the Chinese frontier. I\u2019ve thought a few times before now that cycling through would be a fun way to tour the region, and began to ask all sorts of (possibly annoyingly simpleton) questions. He made it sound pretty do-able, even for a total novice of a cycler.<\/p>\n

Another Aussie, name of “Brock”, had his wallet pinched in Vang Vieng. Was able to get some cash via wire; but is now stuck in Vientiane for three weeks while he gets a new bank card issued, and then sent to him here. Much better to’ve been stuck in Luang Prabang, I should think!<\/p>\n

Got called a \u201cfarang<\/a>\u201d to-day, for the first time since arriving in Asia. I was walking along, and heard, \u201cFalang!\u201d (as the Laos pronounce it) in my left ear. Didn\u2019t register for a few seconds, however. When it did, I looked back, and the dude had a big smile on his face. So I smiled back, waved, and went on my way.<\/p>\n

I then fell in love with this guy.<\/p>\n

\"green<\/a><\/p>\n

So, anyhow, I was walking along a row of fruit stalls, and it just so happened that as I was approaching one of them, about eight or ten mangoes became unmoored from their pile, and plopped onto the ground in front of me. There were plenty of witnesses to see that it had happened before<\/em> my arrival, and that I had not been at fault. So, I didn\u2019t feel as though I\u2019d raised anybody\u2019s ire.<\/p>\n

Bent over to pick up the mangoes and return them to their pile, for which the stall-keeper thanked me. As I bent over to pick up a second batch, I heard a lady call, \u201cHey you!\u201d Looked up, and she pointed at my feet, and the pavements. \u201cHot feet,\u201d she noted, and offered me a Satsuma. I declined the offer, but not without doing my best to express my appreciation.<\/p>\n

And the pavements are<\/em> damned hot here \u2013 again, reminiscent of Thailand. But I was managing that okay. Nah, the real problem is that I\u2019m a stupid fawking<\/em> idiot.<\/p>\n

See, I\u2019d gone into this market to see if I could find some safety pins to mod my hat with. Which, I did <\/em>find some straight away. I guess it looks pretty goofy, but I prefer to have the neck cover away from my ears, so I\u2019m gonna rock this look for a while and see how it goes.<\/p>\n

\"hatmod\"<\/a><\/p>\n

So, okay, after I\u2019d got the pins, I was walking along and came to a point where the aisle was blocked by a two-by-four-on-sawhorses barricade. Saw a local go over it, so figured it was okay to do the same. Stepped over with my right leg, and then the left, and\u2026being the absent-minded stupid fawking idiot that I am, I banged my left little toe onto the two-by-four, exactly<\/em> in the spot I\u2019d hit it last week. Couldn\u2019t have nailed it more perfectly if I\u2019d drawn a bullseye onto it.<\/p>\n

It\u2019d been feeling great to-day, too. I\u2019d noticed on the bus that it was still a bit swollen; but I seemed to have been given the green light for unlimited walking. Now\u2026right back to square one, I fear. Means another two or three days of doing not much at all.<\/p>\n

Idiot!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well, my ass most definitely did not appreciate the ride from Vang Vieng to Vientiane. The road alternates in roughly quarter-mile sections of paved and dirt\/rock the entire four-hour trip. Bump, bump, in other words. How the road from a … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2008","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2008","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2008"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2008\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2008"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2008"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2008"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}