Having said all that, here I am in Udomxai\u2026and I can\u2019t wait to get out \u2013 just as I couldn\u2019t wait, last night, to get out of Luang Namtha.<\/p>\n
The morning of Friday the 3rd, I wanted to get to \u201cPassport Control\u201d bright and early, so as to avoid the lines. I was the fifth person in line, and, sure enough, when they opened up at 8:00 in the AM, we were ushered through lickety-split, and quickly shuttled across the river.<\/p>\n
At the other side, we filled out our Visa On Arrival forms, and handed them in; to then be told that they couldn\u2019t be processed yet, as the person in charge of doing so had gone to breakfast. By the time she\u2019d returned, the place was a fucking zoo of new arrivals waiting to get stamped through.<\/p>\n Happily, they processed the requests in the order received; so, after exchanging two million kips\u2019 worth of greenbacks, I was soon on my way. Missed the \u201c9:30\u201d bus anyhow, despite arriving to the bus depot at 9:15. So, purchased a ticket for the \u201c12:30\u201d departure, which ended up leaving at Noon.<\/p>\n Used the extra time to bone up on the guidebook\u2019s Laos (the \u201cs\u201d is silent, so I\u2019ve now learnt) introduction. Did you know that there\u2019s a sect of Christians here who believe that in his second coming, \u201cJesus Christ will arrive in a jeep, dressed in combat fatigues\u201d? Nor did I!<\/p>\n A Japanesian name of \u201cTomo\u201d, with whom I\u2019d shared a dorm the previous night in Chiang Khong, showed up as well, headed for the same destination. I\u2019d had a fun conversation the night before, with hisself and a black Frenchman who\u2019s been at the guest house in which we were staying for now two months\u2019 time (I think he\u2019s on to something!).<\/p>\n The latter — name of \u201cTaylor\u201d, although the Thais call him \u201cTelo\u201d \u2013 had been slagging off the guidebooks, saying they impel everyone to go to the same places, which doing causes these places to lose any unique personality they may once have had, turning every place into a carbon copy of the last. I\u2019d found them both to be quite nice and interesting gentlemen.<\/p>\n The topic of \u201cAir Asia\u201d had come up, both of them beaming with delight at this carrier which apparently offers outrageously low fares if booked several weeks in advance \u2013 Tomo had flow from Kuala Lumpur to Chiang Mai for $40! \u2013 while lamenting the fact of charges for checked baggage.<\/p>\n I\u2019d asked if knives could be carried on, and Taylor\u2019d kind of shrugged, of what size? I\u2019d pulled out my coconut-cleaver, and they\u2019d both busted up laughing. \u201cIt\u2019s for opening coconuts!\u201d I\u2019d kept protesting over and over. But they just couldn\u2019t stop laughing, the fucks.<\/p>\n Finally, Taylor had sobered up a bit, and allowed that, \u201cYeah, maybe <\/em>in Southeast Asia, that would be an acceptable explanation.\u201d<\/p>\n The bus ride was some wacky fun. No sooner had the bus been put into gear that the driver started blaring a steady stream of Lao (or Thai?) pop music. En route, more people boarded the bus, so that it was standing room only. We stopped at, like, a farmhouse, and picked up some plastic blue chairs, which were deployed down the aisle for the new-comers to sit in. Later, after the bus had emptied out a bit, the conductor stacked them all up and sat in them like he was King O\u2019 The Bus.<\/p>\n The ride took us up and over and down and through and around and around and around the beautiful mountains of Northern Laos. Most dwellings were raised huts with thatched roofs. Animals seen in and near the road: chickens, dogs, goats, cows, buffalo, hogs.<\/p>\n People called out their stops as needed, and the driver acknowledged the request, stopped, and sent them on their ways \u2013 sometimes seemingly out in the middle of nowhere.<\/p>\n No shitter-refund; but we got something even more better: at the top of a mountain pass, the driver stopped the bus, got out, and went across the road to take a leak. Everybody else who wanted to (women included) did the same. There were a good ten or fifteen of us lined up — right there on Route 3, in front of The Buddha and everybody \u2013 doing our business. O, but those were the days!, weren\u2019t they?<\/p>\n Later, we stopped in a village to deliver some tiles. When the conductor couldn\u2019t find a string or cord to keep the door of his compartment open, the driver ran across the street, broke a stick with his knee, and, cackling, used it to prop the door open. They stacked the tiles all up right there on the side of the road, and off we drove! I think the driver thought it was kind of a bullshit job; and maybe figured they were going to do the absolute minimum work required to complete the task.<\/p>\n Finally, the end of a most enjoyable journey, we arrived in Luang Namtha. Exited the bus, and: disaster. Could not believe my nose. Everybody, in both cities and villages, burns wood (and I think coal) for heating and cooking. See all the firewood stacked up here.<\/p>\n In addition to which, there\u2019re all manner of mining\/trucking operations, as well as road construction everywhere (Laos is in the process of improving its roads, so that it can serve as a transport link between China and Thailand). Motor-car emissions regulations appear to be non-existent. Pretty sure everyone burns their trash as well.<\/p>\n Luang Namtha\u2019s air is a toxic soup; to my nose (and eyes and throat) unfit for consumption by human, beast, or fowl. Yet everyone acts as though there\u2019s nothing strange going on! It\u2019s like a scene from a sci-fi movie, with all these fires burning.<\/p>\n But I was walking around, trying not to choke to death, and crossed path with Tomo, the Japanesian. \u201cWhat do you make of this place?\u201d I asked him. He said he quite liked it, and I spluttered, \u201cBut what about all the smoke?!?!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did you expect? This is a developing country! You\u2019re not in Thailand any more!\u201d<\/p>\n Okay, so I guess I was na\u00efve. But that doesn\u2019t mean one has got to like<\/em> it. We went to the night market, and sat down for dinner. Tomo asked about the fruit. I said that I\u2019d had some kinda-okay Longans, and was going to try some bananas on for size. \u201cWhat about coconuts?\u201d he wondered.<\/p>\n \u201cDidn\u2019t see any.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut you have\u2026a very good knife!\u201d There\u2019s one in every crowd, I guess\u2026<\/p>\n We were joined by two Latvian guys who\u2019d also<\/em> been at our same guest house in Chiang Khong. They didn\u2019t seem to mind the air quality so much either. Having arrived a day ahead of us, they\u2019d already spent the day exploring the area via bicycle, and were planning to spend a few more.<\/p>\n Tomo wanted to do the same, then head northeast to Phongsali via southern China (his Japanese citizenship allows him to enter China without a visa).<\/p>\n Me, I justed wanted out. My vision of an idyllic back-to-nature getaway in the mountains of Northern Laos had vanished in a morbid haze of toxic smoke.<\/p>\n The Hell of it is, the town is actually very nice! In a beautiful setting, ringed by mountains; with some cool architecture and friendly people, music bumping out of every street corner, and lots of nice little outdoor cafes. And it\u2019s, ironically, the main jumping-off point for \u201ceco-trekking\u201d tours into the nearby protected wilderness area.<\/p>\n But if I can\u2019t breathe, it\u2019s kind of a deal-breaker. So, another fun bus ride, through even more beautiful scenery, landed me in Udomxai. And\u2026I could more less breathe. And there was actually some visibility.<\/p>\n It\u2019s more of a stop-over place than anything, at a junction of three different through-roads. But I wandered around a bit, and found it an interesting little burgh. Doesn\u2019t have the hippie cred of Luang Namtha; but the setting is probably even more gorgeous, and the locals are incredibly friendly. Plus which, at the market, one can buy both dead rats and live ducks. Top that<\/em>, Luang Namtha!<\/p>\n There are public address speakers set up all over town \u2013 Communist propaganda outlets, I\u2019m guessing. They play music, which is interspersed with monologues. The weird, and fun thing is, though, that they\u2019re not all playing the same recordings \u2013 and you can hear multiple different recordings while standing in one place. I don\u2019t think anybody really pays attention to them.<\/p>\n Walked up to this temple at the top of a hill \u2013 kind of like the Lao version of Our Lady Of The Rockies, you might say.<\/p>\n The monks were walking around with big smiles on their faces, and cellphones in their hands. Huhn, you may recall I made a joke before about there being a \u201cHeadphones Buddha\u201d; but I\u2019ve seen so many monks carrying cellphones, it seems to me a \u201cCellphone Buddha\u201d would actually be rather appropriate!<\/p>\n The monks-in-training were doing some kind of arts and crafts project. Maybe for an upcoming festival?<\/p>\n While up there, a bit of a breeze kicked up, and I think I was able actually to take in two or three gulps of real live fresh air.<\/p>\n Got into a lengthy conversation with a very nice local, name of \u201cMisai\u201d. He\u2019s from Nam Bak, where his parents are rice farmers; arrived here in Udmoxai two years ago to live with his Uncle and complete his schooling. His Uncle\u2019s an English teacher, so he gets special tutoring in English for an hour each evening.<\/p>\n Only two years speaking the language, but he\u2019s (in my estimation) far, far ahead of where I was after three years of French classes. Later got into another conversation with a local, name of \u201cThonganh\u201d. He, too, was very nice; though he battered me with questions at such a furious pace that I never got a chance to learn anything about his own life and times, as I had Misai\u2019s.<\/p>\n As it got on toward evening, the people down in the valley began to light their cooking fires, and the air quality began to deteriorate. While waiting for the sunset, I bumped into a German with whom I\u2019d shared a dorm in Chiang Mai (the same guy I told about before, to whom I\u2019d given a Sapodilla \u2013 although I at the time mistakenly categorised him as a Swissman). Asked him if the smoke was harshing his mellow as much as it was mine; and he said that he\u2019d only just arrived, so hadn\u2019t had a chance to notice.<\/p>\n Uh, dude, just look down there (I didn\u2019t vocalise)!<\/p>\n The air quality continued its southward march, until it was almost comparable to Luang Namtha\u2019s horrific haze of death. As I write these words, Saturday night (Internetless since arriving in Laos), I\u2019m so disheartened by this dichotomy: the friendliest of people, the most beautiful of countryside, but the most unbreatheable\u00a0 of air. (Also, the quality of the fruit is quite poor.) It\u2019s so strange that there\u2019s not a peep from the guidebook about this problem \u2013 although, granted that nobody else, tourists included, seems to have noticed.<\/p>\n So much I\u2019d like to see and do here, but I don\u2019t know how much more I can take. Will give Nong Khiaw a try, and then Luang Prabang. If no improvement, I think I shall have to get out of Dodge. Which I hate to do. But, dammit man, I like to breathe!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sunday, the morning after having written the above, I hopped a minivan for Nong Khiaw. It\u2019d been overbooked, so two young Laotians were cajoled into taking the minivan to Pak Mong, where, I suspect, they were to catch a sangthaew to Nong Khiaw. They didn\u2019t seem terribly happy about the situation, but they did go get on the van to Pak Mong.<\/p>\n That left me, the driver, and nine French speakers. One couple were from France itself, while the rest, a group, were from Switzerland. The lady seated next to me, name of \u201cCelia\u201d, was actually an English expat now living in Switzerland. \u201cBut you don\u2019t have an English accent,\u201d I protested.<\/p>\n \u201cI know I don\u2019t,\u201d she confidently agreed, then related that she\u2019d lived all over the place, including Canada.<\/p>\n The pall over Udomxai was even more disgusting than had been Luang Namtha\u2019s the previous morning. It was like a thick fog had rolled in overnight \u2013 only it weren\u2019t fog, of course. As we got underway, we traded smoke for dust.<\/p>\n The bus rides, when we\u2019ve got away from the cities and villages, have been the best time to get some fresh air. But on this one, we were traveling on a lot of unimproved roads, and the improved roads were riddled with huge potholes. So it was a dusty, windy, bumpy ride. And the best scenery was out the other side of the van to mine.<\/p>\n Moreover, as there wasn\u2019t any pop music playing, and there weren\u2019t any Laotians carrying on, it was less of a party atmosphere than had been the previous two days\u2019 riding. Everybody was speaking in French, except for Celia and myself did converse in English. We talked of organic farming, and the bee die-off, and whatnot.<\/p>\n Long story short, this bus journey was not as much fun as the others; although we did <\/em>get to stop and piss at the side of the road again \u2013 so it wasn\u2019t a total<\/em> loss.<\/p>\n Arrived in Nong Khiaw, and walked the length of the village, a dirt road with rocks piled up on the side. I guess they\u2019re getting ready to pave it, or put in sidewalks, or something? Very nice breathing here!<\/p>\n Checked into a bungalow with an outrageous view overlooking the Nam Ou river. Paid $7.50, which is the most I\u2019ve paid for lodging so far; but damn, what a view!<\/p>\n The is the first place in which I\u2019ve stayed that\u2019s been equipped with a mosquito-net over the bed. As I write this, on Sunday evening, it doesn\u2019t appear as though it\u2019ll be necessary. Was able to sit on the veranda and watch the sunset, making witness to only one, which was easily shooed away.<\/p>\n The Australian in the bungalow next to mine had taken the slow boat from Houay Xai to Luang Prabang, and said that the first day had been great; but that the second day, riding on barely-cushioned wooden benches, had been a bit much. That\u2019s kinda what I\u2019d feared, so I\u2019m glad I didn\u2019t partake. Hoping, if I can afford it, to catch a boat from here to Luang Prabang, which is just one six-hour trip.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the view from a bit further upstream. Please believe me when I tell you that these pictures do not<\/em> do this place justice, nor even close.<\/p>\n After checking in, I bought some un-inspiring bananas and oranges. Not horrible, but certainly not delicious. After lunching on the bananas, I set out to visit a historical cave near here, where the Pathet Lao had hidden away from the American bombs.<\/p>\n Was soon joined by a Vancouverite, name of \u201cNicole\u201d. She\u2019d rented a bicycle, and had initially passed me by. But as the trail got steeper, she got off to push the bike. Told her that I loved her city, and she told me that she loved mine. She began waxing a little too enthusiastically about Woodland Park Zoo; and for some reason seemed to think I\u2019d not have known about it.<\/p>\n I assured her that, yes, I\u2019d taken many a field-trip to the zoo as a young schoolboy; and had even, a few years back, seen a Josh Ritter concert there.<\/p>\n A Marine Biology student on four-month holiday, her proposed path through Southeast Asia is similar to mine. After leaving off with a friend in Thailand, she fell in — somewhere near the frontier, I think — with a group of Brits and Belgians whom, she says, do nothing but complain all the time. So she\u2019d rented the bike to go exploring by herself and get away from them.<\/p>\n After walking for a couple of miles, we reached the ticket booth to visit the caves, staffed by two quite friendly Laotian gentlemen. Paid the 10,000 Kip (about $1.25), and hit the trail. Little did I know that we still had quite some way to go to reach the caves. But this was in point of fact the most interesting part of the hike \u2013 even moreso that the cave itself.<\/p>\n We passed through a small settlement where this young gentleman was hard at work.<\/p>\n You see this going on everywhere<\/em>. The Laotians harvest this grass, beat the hell out of it on the side of the road (or, as here, the side of a tree), and then lay it out to dry. I had thought, having seen these goings on from the bus for three days, that they were going to use the grass to fortify their roofs for the rainy season.<\/p>\n But Nicole explained to me that they sell them to the Chinese, at 60,000 Kip to the Kilo, to make brooms with. (She\u2019d taken a three-day guided trek out of Luang Namtha, and had learned a bunch of cool shit about life in Laos.)<\/p>\n We also passed through rice growing areas, and a bit of jungle, before arriving at, like, an ante-chamber to the real cave.<\/p>\n From here, it was up many steps (yes, I\u2019m well and truly out of hiking shape) carved out of the hill and reinforced with bamboo, before arriving to the cave. There was a family up there, just hanging out. The father warned us of snakes and spiders, but we gave it a try. An immense structure it was, which forked off into two different main areas. A bit creepy down there, but also serene.<\/p>\n The Pathet Lao were fucking hard-core living in this place for four years, able to go out only at night in search of food. But it appears to have kept them safe.<\/p>\n On the way back, we passed by many more locals; including this lady, who was sweating like no tomorrow (hard at work, surely)\u2026<\/p>\n \u2026this youngster, whose name I can\u2019t recall\u2026<\/p>\n \u2026and these two, returning with their grass harvest looking like a couple of young Sasquatch (or what).<\/p>\n As we arrived back at the village, near sundown, the air was still of pretty damned good quality. There are <\/em>fires burning\u2026<\/p>\n \u2026so it\u2019s not exactly gonna be a walk in the park. But this place is so<\/em> beautiful, and so <\/em>peaceful, and the locals so<\/em> friendly that I may try to stay awhile. The big problem will be getting enough quality fruit in me. Perhaps I will resort to eating some \u201csticky rice\u201d which, I\u2019m told, is prepared without any salt or seasonings \u2013 only soaked, then steamed.<\/p>\n Hi! Internet access, where it can be found in Laos, is very slow indeed. So updates may be few and far between.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Nevertheless, having read so many books about the Vietnam war, it does feel odd to have now set foot in Indochina. On one hand, I feel as though I ought to be here, spending money, doing my very small part … Continue reading ![\"ferry\"](\"http:\/\/durianapocalypse.net\/travel\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/ferry11.jpg\" "\\"ferry\\"")
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