Comix!

This blogger has the worst drawing skillz of any vertebrate in all of history. But the worst! So if somebody wants to adapt these "screenplays" into real, live comics, be sure to pass them along.

Comic #1: First Panel The scenario: A sharply dressed caucasian male sitting inside his car, which in turn is sitting inside of a gridlock. The car radio says: "War protests have snarled traffic for miles in every direction. It's going to be a long commute." The sharply dressed caucasian male says: "FUCK!"

Second Panel The scenario: A sharply dressed caucasian male sitting in a comfy chair, watching the television. The television says: "We now pre-empt coverage of the NCAA tourney to bring you coverage of Operation: Kick Saddam's Ass." The sharply dressed caucasian male says: "FUCK!"

Third Panel The scenario: A sharply dressed caucasian male encounters a very long screening line-up of airline passengers. The public address system says: "Due to heightened terrorist concerns, we are now thoroughly checking out all passengers...including whites." The sharply dressed caucasian male says: "FUCK!"

Fourth Panel The scenario: A visibly shaken Iraqi woman spies a tank rolling up her Baghdad street. Bombed-out buildings abound, some still smoldering. The tank-driver says: Attention brave people of Iraq. We have assumed control. The Iraqi woman says: "Fuck..."

Comic #2: First Panel The scenario: A family watching the television, on which The President is holding forth. The President says: "...so it is with grave regret that we have elected to impose martial law, effective so long as we all shall live."

Second Panel The family, in a commotion, begins making for the door, calling out all manner of revolutionary slogans. The father distributes weapons and ammo to all.

Third Panel The President continues: "I have also ordered all television networks, including HBO and Showtime, to develop Survivor series. This means that a different Survivor will air every night of the week."

Fourth Panel The family returns quietly puts away its weaponry, and resumes watching television.

Posted by Eddie Tews at March 26, 2003 08:35 PM